• Nicole Kidman. Touch her and she will not flinch. Cut her and she will not bleed. She is Terminator Barbie. Botox syringe sold separately. (D-listed)
• Tila Tequila threatens suicide. On Twitter, so you know she means business. (Yeeeah!)
• Guy Ritchie says Madonna is “retarded”. You forgot “dummy” and “dipstick” and “diarrhea breath”, Guy. (Us Weekly)
• Mischa Barton fears she’ll never work again. Not with that skank-ass scrubbly weave you won’t. BURN! (Faded Youth)
• Video of the Jayde Nicole/Brody Jenner/Joe Francis bar fight. Joe drags Jayde across the floor by her hair, which comes as a complete shock to us because we thought he was a giving and nurturing gentleman who loved and respected women. (RadarOnline)
• Hell hath no fury like a Suri Cruise denied her JP Licks. (CeleBitchy)
• Katie Price attacks the paps with an umbrella. Nice try, but Britney did it first, better, and balder, trick. (Anything Hollywood)
• Hilary Swank’s boyfriend’s 6-year-old son sees her boobs daily. (Mr. Skin)
• Lady Gaga video, before she was Gaga’ed out. Aw, look. It’s Meadow Soprano. (Amy Grindhouse)

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